lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My ass is underappreciated
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
