Yo dont text me then not text me
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.