It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon