Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.