I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize