I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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