It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
