If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
