Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Found the puke drawer
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
