Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
