halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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