I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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