I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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