he thought i was a dude.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize