But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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