I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
