marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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