Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
