it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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