Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
