I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
