Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
