I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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