So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
