I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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