My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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