I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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