whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
