I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
