Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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