i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
