I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
