Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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