How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
