I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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