I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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