PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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