i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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