Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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