just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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