I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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