I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
