Define "chronic" masturbator.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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