you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
