Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
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I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
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I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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