You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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