what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.