i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.