I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
