is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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