someone get that fucking seahorse.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
