i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
