Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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