Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
