I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
