Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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