I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
