Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
then he tried to convert me to islam
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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