I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
