i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
