Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
