glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
